Copy Brighter Marketing - Latest Comments in Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Becky Cortino — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 23:37:36 -0000

Excellent! True view IMHO. Real skills and authentic selflessness add to community, and set many apart. I believe there are countless others who may well fit that category, but often overshadowed -- but they're busy doing what they do. As to "are you" or "are you not," that I cannot answer. You seem to exemplify the characteristics you describe as a "Social media Rockstar"...

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

sytaylor — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:14:30 -0000

There are people who make money from Twitter who genuinely pain me. All that high pressure marketing bull and big toothed grins. Then there are guys like @chrisbrogan @timoreilly who are interesting and helpful.

Interesting and helpful + clear and direct are the way forward. Twitter is full of Twatter marketers right now, and I sincerely hope they go away.

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Vaspers aka Steven Streight — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 01:08:29 -0000

Bravo! While I despise the term "rock star", having grown up as a street punk and anarchist, I understand your intent. But even the "rock stars" and other celebrities are often famous due to hype, personal appearance, one song or film, and other frivolous trivial reasons.

What you mean is clear though. Some people use bots, spam, and black hat techniques to build audiences and followings. So there is a third category I do believe.

I love your very deep and serious thinking about important issues. You are a benefactor to Social Media and I'm honored to know you!

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Brett Borders — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 20:46:07 -0000

SBREH,

What's your blog?

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

SBREH — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 15:38:51 -0000

LOVE this article! I've linked to it via my blog. ;-)

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Brett Borders — Wed, 27 May 2009 00:12:27 -0000

Josh,

Uh... first no one said that I or anyone else was a "rockstar" -
Social Media Rockstar is just the name of a collection of social media
tips I publish in a blog format.

Second, are you suggesting that only coders & software developers add
value or improve the social web?

I would heartily disagree with that.

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Josh — Tue, 26 May 2009 13:43:13 -0000

There are plenty of people online who have managed to create a sizable audience without much in the way of skills or selfless community contributions."

So please tell me exactly what software you have been developing, creating, and improving? Oh wait, you're just a...<gasp> user!

Sorry man, you're not a rockstar; you're just a regular user. Like I said, what have you coded lately?

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Brett Borders — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 11:22:40 -0000

@Danny Brown,

Why the need for taxonomies and descriptions? Well... cause I'm a blogger and I need something to write about. ;P

I'm not trying to be judgmental.. just noticing that people become famous for different reasons... and since this is my most shard / commented post... it looks like others have feelings or observations about it, too.

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Danny Brown — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 17:05:10 -0000

Why does there even have to be any kind of differing descriptions? Everyone uses things differently for what suits them - social media is no different.

While some of the "narcissists" may be self-centred (and there will be differing opinions on that), if they bring a rockstar into play just by knowing them, they've done the community a favour.

The same goes for "rockstars" - I'm sure they've introduced many a narcissist into the equation, but does that make the "rockstar" any less valuable?

The thing is, people use things the way they need to use them. Offline it's the same - some people may come across as selfish while others come across as selfless. Yet even the most selfish people can have moments of selflessness, and vice versa.

You'll attract, and be attracted to, the people that are most like you - there's enough room for all types. Criticizing one type just because they don't fall into a sub-category seems to negate the whole "social" part of social media.

Just a thought. :)

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Brett Borders — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 21:38:32 -0000

Amy,

Thanks for your response. It does help me understand mommyblogs better.

I never said mommyblogs were bad... but many tend to be so personal and self-focused... more like journals than "blogs"... that it would be hard to understand unless you personally knew the author and/or were a mother who has had an extremely similar experience.

If I were to write a blog about the argument I had with my brother on Saturday, or how awesome my new station wagon is, how burned out I get from being a single freelancer who spends 15 hours a day online, or how enraged I got the 12th $#%$#% time Google Keyword External Tool broke for me in a single evening... or how freaking hard it is to build links for this client... or how I like my hair shorter than longer because it starts to look thin if it gets too long...

In hopes of camaraderie... well, I guess I would be afriad I would totally alienate my readers.

I also think it would be really boring for other people to read. Maybe I would get some self-satisfaction / therapy from writing it.. and some support from my personal friends... but I think it would be totally lost on most of humanity.

There's nothing in the world wrong with keeping an online journal - about mothering - about fishing - about being gay at a big corporation in Manhattan - about anything.

But this particular blog is focused on discovering social media "rockstar" people... who I (partially) define as the more extroverted, selfless, community-oriented online participants.

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Amy — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 12:34:07 -0000

Brett, to speak to Alisa's point, I think what you're missing is the subtlety of the value offered by some of the so-called mommyblogs. You're saying they should all be practical, hands-on, Dr. Spock "here's how you parent" blogs. Speaking as a mom and a blogger, the last thing I need is more advice. The internet is full of advice. My pediatricians are full of advice. Libraries and bookstores have shelves crammed with advice. Trust me, my mother is full of advice, whether I want it or not! What I want is camaraderie. I want to know I'm not alone in the battle to get my teenager to realize that his high school grades are important. I want to cry on someone's shoulder when my younger son gets teased at school. I want to know that others find parenting frustrating and draining at times. I can get plenty of advice for fixing those things--but sometimes I just want to know that I'm not the only one going through it. That's the problem with your approach; you're cutting out that camaraderie as an unnecessary benefit, where to me (and many mommybloggers I know), that's what makes things like blogs and Twitter so worthwhile. Noise to you, immense value to others.

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Brett Borders — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 12:22:38 -0000

@DaveSynder,

I got the impression you were a nice guy, write about search marketing and you actually do work. The narcissists have a bad attitude + think they are God's gift to the internet. They (think they) are the prize, not what they do or contribute.

@Ben McKay,

Thanks, man! ;) Glad you dugg.

It's okay to say "I" in my book... just not 101% of the time. "You", "we" and "they" and "us" are also great personal pronouns.

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Ben McKay — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 11:52:55 -0000

I find that...no wait...I sometimes..no. OK. How do you start a sentence without 'I'?

Thanks Brett - really great post. Sphunn!

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Dave Snyder — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 11:52:47 -0000

Brett I'm scared!

On one hand I know I'm not a Social Media "Rockstar"

on the other I have:

1) Created my own conference which my friends have spoken at Scary SEO

2) I spend a lot of time on Twitter

Am I a "new media douchebag"?

Someone kill me if I am!

Good post bud

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Brett Borders — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 16:55:18 -0000

Alisa,

I said "most mommybloggers" were narcissistic (self-focused & craving for admiration).

I have checked out some lists of supposedly the "best" mommyblogs, and I was disappointed at the quality. I assumed the best mommyblogs would feature "Dr. Benjamin Spock" type articles, or hot tips, like the "Lifehacker" of mothering... really solid articles and insights about parenting.

Mostly I just saw a lot of personal, self-oriented rants "How my day went.." or "I hate xxx / So pissed off" - and also lots of catty stuff. I also noticed a brash commercial emphasis: advertising and promotional stuff - both upfront and sneaky.

Am I totally hallucinating for noticing this?

Do I have anything against mothers? Not in a million years.

Am I jealous of mommybloggers? Nope. I just think most of them have a very different concept of "blogging" than I do. I tend to think of blogging in terms of ("What will people want to want to read about? How can I help them out?") and a lot of mommybloggers seem to think ("People want to read all about ME! And my son / daughter. And how my day went.")

Are mommmybloggers sweet and helpful to each other? I'm glad to hear they are!

Re: "Motrin Moms" - I think this incident is way overblown. I thought the ad was definitely a dud... but I also noticed the vicious, hyper-sensitive defensive reaction. It seems like a lot of mom bloggers are insecure about their presence online and in modern society.

Thanks for your comments,

Brett

p.s. If you know any examples of non-self-focused, high-quality blogs on mothering/parenting... stuff that you don't have to be part of an inside clique to appreciate... something even a soon-to-be-dad could appreciate... I would be glad to check them out! I am open to updating my opinion on "mommyblogs."

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Alisa Bowman — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 15:03:41 -0000

You know, I was really digging your post and thinking, "This dude is a total rock star" until you lashed out at mommy bloggers. I am a mommy who blogs, but not necessarily about motherhood. Honestly, I've found the other mommy bloggers to be an incredibly giving group of women--as you might expect from mothers. Narcissists? Come on. What do you have against mothers? Is this Freudian?

I can't tell you how often Mommy Bloggers have helped me out by stumbling my stuff, commenting, helping me understand how various techy things work, and just sending me encouraging emails. I've done the same for them. It's true that most of us fall into the category of entertainment blogs--people who write essay type blogs about their lives vs. how-to blogs. Yet if someone with depression or who is in a terrible marriage comes to my blog and feels better, isn't that a public service?

I'm not offended here. Some of what I wrote is in jest, but I do think you might just be a tad jealous of this growing very strong group of bloggers. Mommy Bloggers just took down Motrin this week. They are currently banding together to raise $ for Toys for Tots. Which of your categories would those traits fall into?

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Brett Borders — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:36:14 -0000

@Andrew Hyde,

Cheers, man. Thanks for all your support & stay tuned!

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Andrew Hyde — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:30:52 -0000

Great post! Rock star content :)

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Brett Borders — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 20:05:02 -0000

@Shey,

I totally agree. A rockstar busts out hit after hit. It's a lot of pressure, but some people have the chops.

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Shey — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 19:38:17 -0000

Agreed with your definitions here, Brett. Well said.

To me, the social media rockstar is more than just a one-hit wonder -- they are continually successful in the social media space and they interact with their community instead of just broadcasting into it.

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Brett Borders — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:47:09 -0000

@Robin,

Your social media page is AWESOME! Intentionally left blank.

I think it's hard to survive unless you toot your own horn to a certain degree. If I hadn't asked some friends to check out this blog post no one would ever read it - being a brand new blog.

Here's my Darwinian social media theory: the less you have to contribute.. the louder you must toot your own horn or act hostile to scare off would-be competitors... or else you face almost certain extinction or irrelevancy. That's why some people can seem so nauseatingly obnoxious or badly behaved.

@bugFrog,

I totally get it. Frames of reference. One man's trash being another woman's treasure. Projecting your misunderstandings out onto others, etc.

But if I don't have some opinions or take stances on stuff.. how can I generate any interest in a brand new little social media blog? ;) I'm not trying to slag people for traffic, I'm trying to define what are the best practices. And I promise it won't be all my opinions... it will feature lots of people's opinions, experiences, interviews and takes on things.

Stay tuned!

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

BugFrog — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:34:50 -0000

But that is the point. I don't really get - and never will - what they are about. What they need, want, and desire out of technology, social media, and each other is very different from what I need, want, and desire out of those things.

Writing off a group we don't understand with name calling is parallel to the people who wrote off Twitter, the Internet, computers, and cars as "a fad that will soon pass." The tech that we are so fortunate to work with is being used in ways no one ever thought it would. I hope to continue working with it where ever it goes, and not have to become a senior media strategist who just doesn't understand anymore. There is always the chance that we are missing the point, not them.

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Brett Borders — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:26:52 -0000

@Geekmommy,

Hey, I live on Twitter, too, I'm just in denial of it ;)

I guess the sentiment that sparked this post is that I have interacted with some "big ego" social media types - both online and off- who struck me as extremely petty, insecure and generally NOT NICE people. Like Hollywood wannabees up to their earlobes in name droppings ;) Acting in ways that would never fly in a school, company or non-profit.

I admit I have felt excluded or outright snubbed by some grand-poobah on Twitter who thinks they are "God's gift to the internet"... or "the very definition of social media expert" - and when I start to examine them more carefully (what are they all about? what is their contribution to the community?) Then I find out it's an awkward con game they feel obligated to maintain... using "high-school lunch table" psychology and politics.

That's the type of person this article is about. I'm sure you've met one or two.

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

robin seidner — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 16:53:23 -0000

Hi Brett,

I get very annoyed by it as well. In fact, I can barely stand to use the phrase "social media" anywhere near relating to what I do. Its so bandwagon - you know, everyone is a social media consultant, guru, genius, etc. Who self-labels like that except the Paris Hilton's of the world? Ick

That's why I think you will appreciate the content on my site that's related to social media strategy: http://www.copydiva.com/soc...

Re: Social Media “Rockstars” vs. “Narcissists”

Lucretia Pruitt — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 16:43:57 -0000

Oh believe me - I know how fortunate I am to have the role models I do.
But given that I've had the career success I've had in my life, I'm content not to try and 'claw my way to the top' right now. I just swim in smaller pools. And if I live on Twitter at the moment? It's because I can - not because I think it makes me important. :)
Still a fabulous post. I know I'll be referring people to it over the long haul!

~geekmommy